An Open Letter to the People I’ve Lost

I miss you.

I miss you so much more than I’ll ever let on.

I never thought I could ever miss someone, anyone, like this. My head is filled with constant reminders that things are no longer the way they were. I stay up crying; crying to the point where I don’t even know what I’m crying about anymore. I feel absolutely pathetic for letting anything have this affect on me.

This isn’t your fault. Nothing is your fault. I could never blame you for this. People only place blame to justify why things happen. Blaming you would be the easiest way to justify this, but it’s not your fault. You are one of the most amazing people I have had the honor of knowing.

I miss you and I don’t know why.

I mean, I do know why, but I don’t want to miss you the way I do. Every inch of me misses you. I find myself in crippling fits of tears when I think about the memories. When I think about how things have changed. Honestly, it’s ridiculous, I feel absolutely ridiculous.

Some nights I wish you were still around. I spend far too much time reminiscing about our greatest joys. I regret not embracing more of those moments together. I miss so many of our memories. If I could have just pick one to have back…

I miss you.

Why did I have to lose you? Why? Just why? I’m desiring so many answers, to so many questions I don’t even know. I just want to be told that everything is back to how it was. I want to be told it’s all good again. I want it all back.

I miss you.

I miss you so much more than I want to.

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