Inside Out

As we know, I speak very highly of the movie Inside Out. My love for that movie is undying. I would be able to quit my job if I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen it. It’s honestly hard for me to put into words my adoration for this movie, but I’m going to try my best.

* If you have never seen this film, and plan to enjoy watching it without any spoilers, then I advise to watch it before reading this. 

I think the reason I love this movie so much is because I myself am extremely in touch with my emotions. I feel highly emotional about any situation. This movie does an amazing job of breaking down our general, most impactful emotions, into characters. I like to say they map out the primary colors of emotions.

In case you don’t remember what primary colors are, here’s a little refresher. There are both primary and secondary colors. Primary colors are blue, green, yellow, and red. Secondary colors are any colors that come from these primary colors mixing.

So, I see Riley’s five emotions: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear, as the emotional primary colors. These are primary emotions that can be mixed in order to achieve a more complex feeling. I feel like this is why we see Riley’s emotional memories become mixed by the end of the film; she is experiencing more complex emotions.

At age 11, almost 12, Riley is facing a major change in her life. At that point in your life, no matter who you are, you are undergoing phycological changes. Not only is Riley going through this, but she is moving across the country.

Now I don’t know about you, but nothing about middle school was fun for me. As Riley is growing up and experiencing the world in a different way, she is experiencing these complex emotions. As we age we begin to feel things in a complex manner, not only feel, but think in a complex manner.

Because I feel so strongly about embracing the way you feel, I love that this film breaks down our emotions. Obviously, this is such a small sliver of our emotions and an extremely simple way of explaining them, but keeping it simple is important. Keeping it simple helps people, especially children, understand what they’re feeling. I think it’s important to know how to decipher your emotions from a young age.

Being able to decipher your emotions gives you the ability to hold on to whatever emotion that makes you, you. Joy is the emotion that makes Riley, Riley. Recognize the way you’re feeling and don’t lose yourself in the emotion that’s not you. Let’s Root for Each Other and root for ourselves to keep hold of who we are.

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20/80

You can’t live your life waiting for the moment to be perfect. The moment is never going to be 100% perfect. That’s just a fact. The reality is, is that nothing is ever going to be completely perfect.

If you continue to put something off for the sake of perfection, you’re waiting for a moment that may never come around. If you want something, go for it. If you keep waiting  around you’re letting yourself waste your time. Life is just happening around you and you’re going to miss out.

I was once told about this 20/80 philosophy.

Although I had this philosophy originally explained with the perspective of love in mind, I think it’s application to life is very simple.

Life can be broken down into moments of 20/80. You will encounter moments where 80% of that moment will be perfect. Then there will be 20% percent of that moment that is not nearly as perfect. Would you not enjoy that moment in its entirety just because of the 20%?

For example, I love Disneyland. I love Disneyland more than anything else in the world, but I don’t necessarily love having to stand in long lines at Disneyland. The 80% is Disneyland, the 20% are the lines. Because my love for Disneyland dominates this discomfort, I don’t worry about that 20%.

This is how I like to live my life. I hear people putting things off in life because the time just doesn’t feel right. Then I ask, when will the time be right? When will you know if the time is right? If you have that 80%, why not just go for it? You will spend much less time watching life pass you by and much more time experiencing it.

I have explained this to people and I’ve had people say that you’d be settling. I strongly disagree with this idea. It’s in no way settling if the 80% is there. Like I’ve said, the reality is nothing in life is ever going to be 100%.

I will admit, it is sometimes hard to see past the 20%. When you recognize that 80%, though, when it’s right in front of you, embrace it. Take it and run with it. Live your life wholeheartedly through that 80%. I believe if you continue to live your life taking in the 80% you will experience your life the way you should be experienced.

Root for Each Other

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Since when did life become all about tearing someone down and telling them they aren’t good enough?

Why is everyone out to get each other, trying to be better than the person next to them?

I get it. I totally believe in the contest paradigm. I understand that we need to try to be better than the person next to us to: get the job, get the better grade, get the promotion, but at what expense? I am not going to try to be better than the person next to me if it means pushing them down on my way up.

Maybe I’m just trying too hard to change the world. Maybe it’s just the fact that I care so much about everyone I come in contact with. Maybe it is just a personality trait.

This increasing need for competition in our simple everyday life has given us a lack of empathy for one another. Some of us live too much in our bubble. We look at the world through our eyes and our eyes only.

One time I had driving explained to me as a team effort. If we all drove as if we were part of a team we wouldn’t have the same issues we have now. People would be more considerate to let others through. We would move out of the way of faster traffic in the fast lane. Working as a team is far more beneficial than working as an individual.

Of course working in a team only works if everyone has a compelling interest to participate. Each and every individual needs to be prepared to participate. Unfortunately, not each and every individual wants to participate, or they don’t know how to. This is when we run into the issue of hindering an individual’s growth.

When someone doesn’t understand something, the worst thing you can do is make them feel bad for it. No one can grow then they’re being put down. Plants thrive with sunlight, water, and nutrients. How is a person expected to thrive without this environment as well? You can’t constantly put down your colleague, classmate, or whomever, and still expect them to grow. That’s like placing a tree in a dark room and expecting it to flourish.

‘Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life believing that it is stupid.’

I have always loved this quote. I love it because we all are different. Some of us are better at one thing and worse at another. See I’ve never been good at math. I’ve had teachers and professors make me feel like I wasn’t good enough because I couldn’t grasp a concept.

Here’s the thing, we need to root for each other. We need to encourage the person next to us. Find the joy is seeing another person grow; once you do, rooting for the person next to you will just make sense.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

My favorite clichè.

It’s my favorite clichè because I love being happy. I’ve discovered this increasingly these past two weeks. These past two weeks have really forced me to prove to myself that I am as strong as I tell myself I am.

Throughout these past two weeks, I forced myself to remember my lowest points. Those low points where I was lost, vulnerable, and isolated. Those low points taught me, though, that isolation will never help me. Reaching out and seeking love and light will always benefit me.

It has caused me to embrace the fact that I deserve joy. We all deserve to find our joy. This is why you must Find Your Voice. And not just finding your voice, but sharing your voice. I have only received joy and happiness since I’ve begun to share my voice, and these past two weeks, I’ve needed that.

Now back to the clichè I spoke so short and so fond of.

Sharing your voice surrounds you with love and light.

Reaching out surrounds you with love and light.

Laughter surrounds you with love and light.

Even when I’m feeling down, if I am genuinely laughing, I no longer feel upset. It’s just physically impossible to feel sad when you are feeling genuine joy. Your joy is part of who you are. Without your joy, you are not you.

maybe that’s just my love for the movie Inside Out, characterizing an emotion like that, but your joy is yours to keep. 

Likewise, you can help someone else’s joy thrive. If someone reaches out to you in search of help, help them. Laugh with them. Make them feel like they’re worth something. The worst feeling in the world is when you seek out support, and it’s not received.

Laughter is the best medicine.

Nothing has ever helped me feel better than the times when I’m feeling genuine joy with the people I love. Surround yourself with good people and be a good person so people want to be surrounded by you. In times of heartbreak, sadness, and hardships, being around these joyful people will make all of that hurt less.

And when someone next to you is heartbroken, sad, or has fallen on heard times, be there to pick them right back up. Be there for one another and we will all really see that laughter is the best medicine.

Finish This Sentence

‘This was not supposed to happen…’

at all. I was not supposed to be in this position, but I’m not the exception to every rule. Things happen to people. Things that suck happen to people, but that’s life. 

This has opened my eyes. I’m not some sort of superhuman where things don’t happen to me. Things happen to me. I am just an average person. Not everything is going to be happy all the time. I am heart broken, and I guarantee I will be for quite some time.

This was not supposed to happen, but it did happen. It happened and I’m going to have to be okay with that. Growing to be okay with it is important. I have to learn how to come to peace with these hard situations I face. I have to learn how to live with them.

I will never be happy if I’m constantly looking behind me. Like my mom always says, if you’re constantly looking behind you, you’re going to miss what’s in front of you. I have to keep my head up. Look towards my future, not towards the past.

This was not supposed to happen, but I will make it through. This has helped me see the love and support of the people around me. It has helped remind me of that love and support. People are good.

I will get through this and I will be okay. Bottom line I will be okay. I know I am a strong person and even though this was not supposed to happen. I will be okay.

 

Missing someone at 4 AM

Missing someone at 4 AM always hurts more than missing someone at 4 in the afternoon. 

I find myself going over our last few days together in my head.

Our final conversation. The final words we spoke to each other. Our last interaction. 

Quite honestly, missing someone you know you cannot speak to is so much worse than missing someone because of distance or our own personal barriers. Of course, I miss people like my sister who lives states away from me, but we talk almost every single day. Granted I wish I could hug her and her family; give my niece and nephew kisses, but when we facetime, I feel as if my basic physiological need to have face to face interaction with them is met. 

But missing someone that you can’t make up that lost time with; people that are not around, and not always the people that have passed away. Sometimes even people in the military or on a missionary trip or whatever it may be. People that we just have no contact with. It hurts so much more. It’s the whole concept of wanting something you can’t have. 


Missing someone at 4 AM always hurts more than missing someone at 4 in the afternoon.

I think about this often. Now I cherish the time I spend with anyone and everyone I love. Not that I didn’t before, I just don’t think I did enough. And it’s not that I didn’t care, but I think this sprung from the fact I didn’t really experience loss until I was 14. Now in retrospect of the average age humans life 14 is young, but when you consider your brain is 90% developed at age 6 and by about age 8 much of your critical brain growth is taken care of, 14 is old. This is why that age is a good time to learn so much new information, like other languages. Obviously, we are constantly growing and developing, but my point being is that so much of our minds are developed at a young point in our life. So in the world of cognitive development, once again, 14 is old.

Age 14 was the age I first experienced true loss. Of course, when I was younger I lost pet fish, but I was never really attached to them. I lost toys, but that’s nothing like losing a person. I was lucky enough to have all of my closest family and friends around all throughout my childhood. Until my teen years, I didn’t experience the death of someone that was close to me. At this age, I lost the mom of one of my best friends growing up. 

I used to spend almost every day at their house. They lived right across the street so sleepovers were customary and walking straight into their house like it was my own was expected. Losing her put a lot into perspective for me. It really made me start to critically think about the fact we are all here for our designated amount of time and that time is not forever. 

One of my favorite things I heard from someone is, ‘We have a finite number of breaths.’ and I truly think about that just about every day

At that time I thought this was my pivotal moment, but it wasn’t. Until I lost my grandpa, I don’t think I really realized how temporary life is.


Missing someone at 4 AM always hurts more than missing someone at 4 in the afternoon.

Losing him put a lot of things in perspective for me. It was so unexpected I feel like I never really went out of my way to cherish my time with him, and we can’t live our lives like that. I often think about the last time I saw him, it was just a couple days before he passed away. He picked me up from work and to this day I can’t remember if I told him I loved him when I got out of the car. I know he knows I love him, but it kills me not knowing if I said it.

I want people to know how much I care about them now. I make it such a huge point to express my gratitude for the people around me. As I’ve said, I’ve always been a compassionate person, maybe sometimes too compassionate, but I don’t think until the loss of my grandpa I really began to be okay with that. I hated feeling vulnerable expressing my love to people, but I’d rather have that love expressed than never express it at all and be missing out.


Missing someone at 4 AM always hurts more than missing someone at 4 in the afternoon.

I don’t know what it is, but it’s such a true statement. You just miss people more than you thought you ever would. At 4 AM you miss them more than you want to. You reminisce about all the fun times you had. You wish you would have taken in those moments more. In the moment, though, how can you know you’re taking them in enough? You never know when you won’t get to have those moments anymore, so you will always wish you took in those moments more. You start to wish you could relive it all again. You want it all back. You would do anything to have just ten minutes with that person again.

Like I said before, We have a finite number of breaths.’. That’s us and the people around us. We can’t guarantee that we will be here tomorrow and we can’t guarantee that any one person around us will be here tomorrow either. This is why we can’t be so afraid to care. We can’t be afraid of anything. We have to conquer all of our fears, every single one of them. 

‘The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.’

Don’t be cautious all the time. You’ll miss out on life. You’ll miss out on life for yourself and you’ll miss out on life with other people.

So: tell people you love them, jump out of planes, care too much, dive the depths of the ocean, speak up for yourself, swim with sharks, try things and fail, ask someone on a date, live your life.

Do the things that frighten you, because those are the things worth remembering. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so make the most of today.